This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
