he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
