I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
