He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
