I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
