Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just high enough for therapy.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
ok first of all what the fuck
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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