I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
