They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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