Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
