"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
pop tarts are not kleenex
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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