Pappa wants mamma naked
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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