I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
