I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
