Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
