This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
