oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
