I am in a vortex of obligation.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
