What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I touched a dick in church today
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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