Got a toothbrush?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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