Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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