You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
