If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
