Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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