All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
