Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
