I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
