I seem to have left my pride at pride
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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