Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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