Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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