they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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