just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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