Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This is my gift to your gina
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
