benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
