Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
should my penis look like a turkey
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
