Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
