You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
