She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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