Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
this is an emotional support booty call
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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