Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
