so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
