OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
