On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
