i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
