I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
