I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
