Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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