im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Randomize
