Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
