My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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