I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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