Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
